new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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