did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
She's JV to your varsity
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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