She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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