I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
