It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
