so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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