i just identified you from a description of your pipe
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
