is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
