her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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