I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
