I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
