I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
