Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
it was like eating out sand paper
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
