i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
