i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Randomize
