I wish my penis had an off switch
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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