You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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