You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Randomize
