Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
