he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize