you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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