that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
3pm strippers are depressing
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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