yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
