I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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