I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
