There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
