the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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