Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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