the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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