I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
