WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
