Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
