you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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