I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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