We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
