I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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