He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
