Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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