It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize