just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
