Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
No more Irish car bombs ever.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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