Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
