i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
