he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
