Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
