Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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