I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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