Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
