Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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