What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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