This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
True strength comes from lack of pants
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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