ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
