How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
