I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
