I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize