would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
