a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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