I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
