I wanna bring you to show and tell
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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