i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
