I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
